Last night my friend came over and we talked a lot about lots of things, including her fear of spiders (we talk about this quite often but not TOO much). And I said (again) how I’m not that scared of spiders but I’m scared of dirty creatures like flies and cockroaches (someone told me that cockroaches aren’t actually dirty but I don’t believe them). And I said that if there was a spider in this place I would probably not be that scared and would just let it chill out.

I’m cool like that!

After my friend left (she had to go early because she was driving with her family to Merimbula today, which would be fun but it’s okay because we’ll go somewhere for my birthday which is pretty soon), I noticed this ABSOLUTE BEAST on the wall in my bedzone. This was quite an event, because I also had freshly boasted (again) about how I never get insects in here (when I say insects I mean arachnids as well because whatever).

My first thought was, “Wow, that’s so weird because we JUST talked about if there was a spider in here (although actually it’s not that weird because stuff like that happens all the time since the end of 2021 and it’s kind of getting normal [but still, what are the chances?]).” And my second thought was, “Oh no, I told my friend if there was a spider in here I would just let it chill out so now I have to just let it chill out because that’s what I said I’d do like only two hours ago.”

I have to confess I did try briefly to encourage the beast away from the bed area, but he wasn’t budging! Since it was pretty late, I didn’t want to try and trap him and put him outside because almost certainly I would scream somewhere along the line, and that’s not something that the neighbours would probably find ideal so early on Jan 1. So eventually I gave him a very stern talking-to and decided to go to bed, simply TRUSTING (which I’m quite good at) that he wouldn’t crawl over my shoulder and into my hair during the the night.

And he didn’t! (That I know of).

When I woke up this morning, there was no sign of the beast, and I have to admit that I was relieved. But actually I just looked up at the wall before and he’s BACK. He’s even near a bunch of sparkles, which I think makes him slightly less scary.

As my new friend inches across the wall towards my computerzone, I can’t think of a more distracting way to start 2024. It’s bound to be a year of some kind.

Sorry about all the brackets (and don’t forget pigeons love you [and probably this spider also because in the end everyone and everything is everyone and everything])!