Top 5 Everything
Probably I can’t do a Top 5 of EVERYTHING all at once, so I’ll try to update this list periodically for the rest of my life/till I’m dead. Maybe this is ONE THING I can do reliably and comfortably. Maybe the world can DEPEND on this top 5 list. Maybe.
Not definitely but maybe.
The updated version will appear at the top of my post list with the latest update date in the title :)
Top 5 Most Important Words 2021
Top 5 Most Boring Words of ALL TIME
Top 5 Least Boring Words of ALL TIME
- PIGEONS :)
- Italian Greyhound
Top 5 Things I Love
- THE FAT BROWN DOG THAT I KEEP SEEING AROUND
- being by myself for ages
Top 5 Horse Colours
Top 5 Pigeons I Know
- Font-Weight <3 <3 <3
- Fight Pigeon
Top 5 Creative + Romantic Date Ideas for Valentine’s Day 2022!!!
- dinner in the shower
- role-play where one of you is a policeman and the other one is a plain-clothes policeman/person who is speeding and then it’s really awkward when you get pulled over for speeding and have to explain that it’s actually fine because you’re also in the police but just not wearing a uniform. And then the policeman in uniform is like, “But you were speeding.” And then you’re like, “Yeah, but I’m allowed to speed because I’m in the police force.” And the uniformed policeman is like, “I’m a policeman and I don’t speed.” And then you’re like, “Yeah, but you could speed and get away with it if you wanted to because you ARE the law.” And then the uniformed policeman is like, “I became a policeman to help people and make the world a better place, not do whatever I like or have some kind of power trip! You are a criminal and need to be arrested ASAP!” And then you’re like, “Do you want to get coffee and doughnuts at my favourite coffee and doughnut police place?” And he’s like, “NO! I WANT TO PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE, YOU FILTHY CRIMINAL! YOU ARE SO BAD IN EVERY WAY! YOU MAKE ME SICK! YOU WILL BE SO SORRY FOR SPEEDING WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU, YOU POWER-TRIPPING MANIAC!” And then he handcuffs you for speeding and then you just go from there or whatever.
- watch a Hugh Grant movie (blindfolded)
- dress up in each other’s clothes and take photos and make a scrapbook out of it
- have a great time doing whatever you want with or without whoever you want (zero hassle)
- enchanted forest hide and seek
Top 5 Words that Aren’t Names But Would Make Cool Names if You Had Four Sons
Top 5 Places in Australia that Would Make Cool Names For a Fantasy Book Character But I Maybe Don’t Want to Use an Australian Place Name as a Name For a Fantasy Book Character Unless Maybe I Changed it a Bit (No Particular Order)
- Sandy Creek
Top 5 Compliments to Make Someone Smile!
- I like your dress!
- I like your bejewelled jeggings
- I like you and your interests
- the things you say are hilarious!
- you are the best person who has ever lived
Top 5 Animals
- (Italian) Greyhound
Top 5 Questions to Ask Your Date/Friend/Mum (Depending)
- Which dog are you? (TAKE THE QUIZ!)
- Have you seen the movie Edward Scissorhands?
- Are you judgemental about if I want to play with a plastic whale toy in the bath like when I was five?
- Have you ever punched yourself repeatedly in the head?
- Do you love to have fun and a good time?
Top 5 Mark Screenshots
Top 5 Things That Aren’t Ideal
- getting stabbed in the face (hard)
- someone tapping you on the back before the German exam starts and telling you that your shirt is on inside out
- forgetting the German word for “butterfly” so you just write something that sounds kind of right but definitely isn’t
- wireless headphones out of charge
- no dogs
Top 5 Things that are the OPPOSITE of Not Ideal
- getting hugged by a giant pigeon
- finding $50 in old birthday card
- getting shrunk down to be tiny and sleeping on a pigeon’s back
- talking to someone and they like the same thing you do!
- KitKat Gold
Top 5 Facial Expressions
- smile (genuine)
- key face (furrowed brow while trying to get a key inside a keyhole)
- focused genius
- poker face
Top 5 Things I’m Looking Forward To
- whale toy
- space pants
- having zero thorns
- being normal soz
Top 5 Things You Can Google NOW!
- what dog am I quiz (I got Labrador ON TWO DIFFERENT TESTS but I wanted (Italian) Greyhound! WHAT? I feel like a Labrador would be an extrovert but I’ve never owned a Labrador so maybe that’s just G-Retrievers. I would rather be a g-hound because they are my favourite dog.
- deep sea creatures 10 hours
- Sebastian the crab/Edward Scissorhands MBTI
- what does it mean when someone really loves sharks
Top 5 Memes
Top 5 Number of Tabs to Have Open
- 42 in one window and 7 in an incognito window
- 45 in one window and 22 in incognito window
- 33 in one window and 2 in incognito window
- 53 in one window (after closing a bunch)
- 78 in one window
Top 5 Things to Say While Rewatching Edward Scissorhands The Other Day
- Awwww he’s cute!
- Aw no!
Top 5 100% Understandable Childhood Loves Belated Valentine’s Day Celebration List (Ages 4-15 [In Order of Overall Life Impact])
1. Dave Lister
The video explains all but also:
Top 5 Reasons Dave Lister is in This Top 5 List (Top 5 Top 5 Sublist)
- super laid-back (easy to hang with)
- cares about everyone
- gets dressed the same way as me (hurried energetic chaos)
- ZERO chance he’ll be mad if I’m not tidy (which I won’t be)
- last man alive
- not on the pull
2. Edward Scissorhands
I just watched ESH not that long ago and maybe I’m feeling slightly more intense about it than I would have otherwise, but if I had a choice between being given a million dollars FOR FREE and hugging Edward Scissorhands for one hour, I would choose to hug Edward Scissorhands for one hour. I wish I was joking because I could really do with a million dollars.
If I hugged ESH, I think it would feel really nice for a start because he looks really huggy in the gifs.
But on top of that I think that our souls would fuse together temporarily (not sure if he has a soul since he’s man-made but then neither do I probably, so that’s fine) and I would take some of his suffering and he would take some of my suffering and even though we’ll have the same amount of suffering afterwards it will be different because it’s easier to step back and view someone else’s suffering objectively but your own suffering feels like your feelings are bleeding to death and you’re going to die.
And then after the hug he will be a bit happier and I’ll be a bit happier and he can give me a haircut because I’m tired of snipping my own hair even though it looks SICK and when I went out that one time C1 said I look SO HOT with short hair and C2 agreed and I’m pretty pleased about that because when you zip off your own hair angrily with a safety razor it does raise some doubts in your mind about whether or not it’s actually a great haircut.
But my favourite part of the movie is when ESH asks Kevin if he wants to play “scissors paper stone” and Kevin says no and ESH asks, “Why?”
I love him.
And just in the long-term (assuming this experience leads to some kind of lifelong transcendental therapeutic hug arrangement), what he lacks in inability to not absentmindedly stab me in the eye with scissors he will make up for in being uncommonly soft and lovely in every other way (except when he has the occasional explosive yet silent rage attack and rips all the curtains but that’s totally fine and understandable. I hate curtains anyway).
Labyrinth is a strange one because I love it but I also don’t love it at the same time. Like, I love it but do I? Like, I DO.
But do I?
That’s the only way I can explain it.
I do though.
If it wasn’t enough that the Gob King is played by D-Bow—who I already loved when I watched the movie—he’s just a ton of fun with his exciting labyrinth and crystal ball thingies and traps and puzzles and smug facial expressions and messing with time and THE FACT THAT HE CAN TURN INTO AN OWL?
This man can TURN INTO AN OWL and yet half of his admirers are going on about how tight his pants are? He could be wearing a pair of daggy mum jeans and I’d be equally thrilled.
HE CAN TURN INTO AN OWL.
If I was on a date with the Gobbo King and he suddenly turned into an owl I would scream and then I would be so happy. And then he’d turn back into a man and I’d say, “Can you turn back into an owl?” And he’d be like, “But I want to eat my pasta.” And I would say, “Can you turn back into an owl after you eat your pasta?” And he’d say, “Don’t you want me to be a man?” And I’d say, “Yes, but I also want you to be an owl more because owls are so cool and cute. Thanks!”
It’s possible he should be above ESH but I just saw ESH and so he’s fresh in my mind and so cute. And maybe I’d like JTGK even more if he was a bit more flexible about this whole labyrinth thing. Maybe if he was just like, “I have this cool labyrinth and you can explore it if you want but no pressure or anything. I’ll turn into an owl anytime you want and give your brother back regardless.”
That might be ideal because really I need heaps of time to make vids and sick tracks and can’t do labyrinths et cetera all the time!
4. Sebastian the Crab
While STC was one of my first loves—if not THE first—he isn’t higher up the list because there’s only so long you can think that an animated Jamaican crab is your soulmate (the Jamaican part is fine but not the animated crab bit). I will rewatch The Little Mermaid soon though so that I can fully remind myself of what it was exactly that made me think STC was such a catch (I’m sure the magic will still be there). I may have misinterpreted his overbearing obsession with making sure Ariel never steps (or swims, hah!) out of line as him caring a lot about her. But he also does care a lot about her so I’ve confused myself now.
Or maybe I totally LOVED the “Under the Sea” song :):):)
HAKUNA MATATA NO SHAME.
Top 5 Possible Dog Names
- Spargel (better for horse)
Top 5 Types of Black Tea (Bags)
- Australian Afternoon
- English Breakfast
Top 5 Possible Bath Games
- whale adventure
- bath bomb bonanza
- listen to music and cry
- whale story (would require concentration)
- make the water too hot but sit in it anyway and regret it the whole time but also do nothing about it except think about how it has to cool down soon because that’s just thermodynamics?
Top 5 Things to Know Nothing About
Top 5 Emotions Today So Far
- annoyance (loud noise)
Top 5 Times That I Might Start Being 100% Normal
- this week hopefully
- this weekend maybe
- the weekend after that