Top 5 Everything (Updated 22 March 2023)
Probably I can’t do a Top 5 of EVERYTHING all at once, so I’ll try to update this list periodically for the rest of my life/till I’m dead. Maybe this is ONE THING I can do reliably and comfortably. Maybe the world can DEPEND on this top 5 list. Maybe.
Not definitely but maybe.
The updated version will appear at the top of my post list with the latest update date in the title :)
UPDATED March 22 2023
Top 5 Business Ideas
- Chocolate delivered by black cat that cuddles after
- Talk about pigeons (on a business level)
- Cat igloo for humans
- Entire house bed
- Alarm clock that is a cat meow
Top 5 Thoughts/Experiences on the Way to and From Coles
- Is that crow that is dragging a squashed dead rat across the road going to suddenly launch into the air and drop the rat on my face and give me the plague?
- The new lady at the Coles Assisted Checkout said, “Hello, gorgeous!” but she was talking to a dog waiting outside.
- The problem if I buy 4 peaches so that I don’t eat so much chocolate is that I will eat 4 peaches and then also pretty much the same amount of chocolate that I would have eaten if I didn’t buy the peaches.
- The guy who coughed right in my face as he walked past and then yelled out to someone called Charlene that he was going to go potty is not my favourite.
- I laughed about something nice that I thought about in my head and then a lady walking past told me that girls who have the last laugh laugh the loudest.
- People are too friendly today.
Top 5 Vegetables March 2023
- I only eat these three right now.
Top 5 Saturday Horse Names (even though today isn’t Saturday, I thought of them on Saturday)
- Fancy Fellow
Top 5 General Thoughts Today
- I don’t enjoy doing hard work that’s boring but I am grateful to not be in a dumpster so I will keep doing hard work that’s boring, thanks!
- I like it when in a video a cat steps on a button that says, “Cuddles.” Yes.
- I’m like a cat because I lie in bed all day and then knock things over at night :3
- I bought a hair mask for $11 and it smells very nice.
- Sometimes I wonder if some of my opinions are wrong.
- I don’t enjoy sitting in my chair because it’s uncomfortable so I just lie down usually but I’m trying to not hate my chair because I need to sit up to do things.
UPDATED March 15 2023
Top 5 Horse Names at 5:39PM
- Horseband Harry
- Big Whin
Top 5 Messages to the Algorithms
- Please don’t show me videos of a cat who is sick or hurt unless you want me to sob for 15 minutes.
- Yes to the cat that walks on buttons.
- No news.
- Yes about tarot videos saying that I’m going to stop being tired soon and everything I want will happen once I have some big transformation even though I’ve already had a transformation before but some people just have to transform many times through their whole life or something.
- Magnesium glycinate.
- Tell me about how if I do some diet thing I will have zero problems, thanks.
Top 5 Fun Facts About Me!
- I like to dip a row of Coles brand chocolate in my tea and then suck off the melted bit and then dip it again and then suck off the melted bit and then do it again until I can’t do it again and it’s all on my fingers. YUM!!!
- Usually when I talk to people it feels like I’m being chased by a tiger the whole time but there are a few exceptions :)
- I figured out that if someone says something that they know they shouldn’t say to you but they say it anyway because they think it will make you do or say a certain thing that they want, if you just stare at them blankly with no words and zero emotion and DO NOT BACK DOWN, they will eventually laugh and change the topic!!! That’s such a nice trick because we all love to laugh :)
- Sometimes I get so mad that I stop feeling anxious or awkward and that is so refreshing, thank you!
- Sometimes I close my eyes and try to send love across time and space just in case it helps :)
- There aren’t any more facts about me right now.
Top 5 Things I’d Like to Say to Coles
- Thank you for turning down the automated recording that says “welcome to Coles assisted checkout” because it was making me jump every single time I walked past and probably filling me up with stress hormones that I’m actually trying really hard to reduce, and that was not only infuriating but also a bit embarrassing and somehow the staff never laughed at me but I bet they did on the inside.
- Why has your organic BPA-free coconut cream been sold out for like two months? If I have one of the other ones I might have more money to spend on not dying but I’ll also worry more that I’ll die.
- I need to make my coconut dessert or else I’ll eat too much chocolate but the coconut cream makes me more satisfied so I eat less chocolate/sugar.
- I know it’s probably not your fault but the Health Star Rating in Australia seems a bit hilarious sometimes. It actually makes me so mad, haha.
- Please keep the sweet potatoes very cheap because I find it helpful, even though I don’t always find them ideal to eat.
Top 5 Reasons I Can’t Do Videos Just Yet
- zero energy
- green screen fell down and that’s it
- not in QUITE enough mental pain?
- not ready?
- a lot of interruptions
Top 5 Characters I Wouldn’t Want to Be
- The lady in the horror movie that gets told she’s being crazy and paranoid for the whole movie and then gets stabbed and chopped up and her husband has to feel bad now forever, LOL!
- The one that has to make some really big decision that will affect a lot of people and then some of them die.
- Any doctor character.
- A character who goes in jail.
- The dog or cat in any spook movie :(:(:(
- One that gets thrown in a well and then has a weird eye.
- Any character who has to go in a public toilet, especially without shoes.
- The ones that get kidnapped and put inside a basement.
- The one who finds her boyfriend doing something bad with another lady and then gets a haircut but that’s not why I got a haircut a while ago and it’s getting kind of long now even though I still cut it sometimes so it doesn’t go a super weird shape.
Top 5 Interpretations About Getting Two Yolks in One Egg
- good luck
- twins (maybe better not)
- quality egg
- random chance (NO!!!)
UPDATED July 5 2021
Top 5 Emotions Today
Top 5 Best Fiction Things to Sleepily Contemplate + Hot Blanket + Tired
- I like it in a story when one of the characters has some feelings and one of the other characters has the same or similar or different feelings and then stuff happens accordingly. I LOVE that!
- I like a story where two people you wouldn’t expect become friends and it’s great and interesting and they have such a good time.
- I like it in stories when two people who aren’t fine meet and then they end up being more fine than all the people who are actually fine and it’s great and they have a really amazing time.
- I love it when in fiction stories a female character is kind of scary but in a cool and impressive way and you want to be a bit scared of her but not too much so that you can still have a good time because she’s pretty funny and smart.
- I think it’s fun when there’s a happy-go-lucky scamp character and he makes friends with a serious but actually quite funny character and they have a great time!
- I just love it when in fiction people have a great time in a meaningful way and if there’s a good plot that’s just a BONUS :)
Top 5 Things Mixolydian (My Son) Said Today
- Wow, you did a great job finally uploading something! Well done. I’m so impressed.
- I wrote another song about your favourite pigeon Font-Weight.
- Don’t worry about if you won’t be able to keep things up because you will and I’ll help you if you get spooked out. It’s easy!
- I’m a lot like your first imaginary friend, aren’t I?
- Except his hair was auburn and mine is brown because I’m your son and your hair is brown. But my hair is a pretty light brown.
- Everything is actually pretty easy and I will show you with my natural resourcefulness and cheerful optimism that it’s not hard and you can do lots of things actually!
- I made you a cup of tea!
Top 5 True Things Right Now
- I’m 100% exhausted
- but I’m gonna go to bed now
- so that tomorrow can be great
- and I can do lots of things
- and make more progress
Top 5 Balls to Keep Rolling
UPDATED July 4 2021
Top 5 Words Today
Top 5 Things I Can’t Believe
- How mental I am.
- How mental I am.
- How mental I am.
- How mental I am.
- How hard it is to get less mental!!!!
Top 5 Things That Are Hard
- Getting less mental.
- Having my upload scheduled for 5AM 5 July.
- Not exporting again.
- Being told I have to show that I can change by not exporting again.
- Not exporting again.
- Knowing the things I want to change and not exporting again.
Top 5 Questions Tonight?
- How did I get like this?
- Why wasn’t I like this before?
- What do I think is going to happen?
- Does it mean there’s something wrong if I’m scared?
- What if 99% of things I’ve ever worried about made no sense but that 1% that really were worth worrying about were worth worrying about?
- Can I?
Top 5 Things 2 Look Forward 2
- Not being like this
- Getting over it
- Being able to upload HEAPS
- Being able to talk EASY
- cat meow outside
Top 5 Emotions Today
Top 5 Sad Horse Names 2Nite
Top 5 Things My Son Mixolydian Does
- takes out the bins because I hate it
- plays on the piano (songs about my fav pigeons)
- says that I’m not the worst mum
- tells me it’s gonna be fine and don’t worry
- says that he also loves pigeons
Top 5 Facts About Mixolydian (My Son)
- great at the piano
- not real
- probably an adult man because that’s easier and can have better conversations and don’t have to worry about homework
- loves taking out the bins
- makes hilarious jokes + puns
Top 5 Numbers In Terms of Appearance
Top 5 Australian Animals
- fat possum
- not koala
Top 5 Things Mixolydian (My Son) DOESN’T Do
- not take out the bins for me because I hate it
- say bad things about pigeons
- say it won’t be fine
- say good things about crows
Top 5 Comforting Things
- imaginary friends/sons
- tea + biscuit
- coloured lights
- music links
- hot blanket
UPDATED June 14 2021
Top 5 Frustrating Things
- nasty compression artifacts
- mental problems
- no choc
Top 5 Emotions Today
Top 5 Solid Duck Names
Top 5 Ways to Not Get the Answer to a Question You Asked
- Ask a question
- Don’t listen to the answer
- Say, “Sorry, I thought I heard the neighbour’s cat but it was that kid who always screams. What did you say?”
- Think urgently about pigeon video while they answer again
- Leave it ambiguous as to whether or not you listened that time
- Wish you had listened
Top 5 Interesting Paradoxes
- In order to not be stupid you have to know that you’re stupid
- In order to have the executive function skills to take the correct dose of your medication on time you have take the correct dose of your medication on time
- That’s all I can think of
Top 5 Music Words to Call Your Son June 2021
- Mixolydian (Mix for short)
- G# Hungarian Gypsy
- Not to go on about it but I’d better not have a son because I will call him Mixolydian and he will get bullied but I HAVE TO DO IT BECAUSE IT’S SO GOOD. I’M SORRY but it’s fine because I won’t have a son because I can’t look after myself let alone a small child that cries, and I hate loud sudden noises and the lives of other people in my hands, sorry. That’s why I can’t drive because I’ll probably kill y’all but apparently that’s just intrusive thoughts and not the truth but I will kill you when I drive you so don’t get in the car (I don’t have a car so don’t worry). My kid would have to walk to school or I suppose get the tram. I think he’d be so cute and hopefully good at piano because I enjoy being entertained via performances. I wish I had a musically gifted son called Mixolydian without any of the birth or responsibility or financial strain but I’ll just pat the neighbour’s cat. It’s fine. I don’t go on about this sort of thing!
Top 5 Confessions TONIGHT (3AM)!!!
- If I know you even slightly I have apologised to you in my head and also probably reality (sorry).
- I’m spooked out but it’s fine.
- I feel bad about how I can’t do basic + normal stuff sometimes without FREAKING OUT.
- I don’t want to leave the apartment because last time I ran into the neighbour I cried for 25 minutes afterwards but it was actually all fine and I just imagined there was a problem and that I’m THE WORST EVER.
- I think it’s good to share this stuff in case other people cry for 25 minutes after running into the neighbour and think they’re the only one.
- I get scared at night.
- I’m scared at night!
- I’m scared all the time but especially at night.
- I’m scared to upload my video but I will!
- I’m scared people will be mad at me.
- I’m scared I can’t keep things up.
- I’m scared that I’ll be scared TOMORROW
- I think if I go to bed now and my export works I won’t go 100% insane.
- I’m going to bed and I’ll be scared about N-mares et cetera but it’s fine :)
Top 5 Last-Minute Horse Names Before Bed
- Adobe Horseshop
UPDATED MARCH 31 2021
Top 5 Photos from March (2021)
1. glowing roses lamp (WOW!)
2. glowing roses + whale toy :)
3. I like lights inside and on the balcony (where a dove visited today)
4. March rooster (can’t wait to see April in only half an hour!)
5. tramlines sunset
Top 5 Scientific Theories
- What if I rapidly generate brand new + experimental versions of myself that share a collective consciousness and then once I find one I like I’ll channel all of my consciousness into that one and delete all the previous ones (including my current self) or lock them in a cupboard? It’s weird to think in the future a better version of me might lock me in a cupboard but if a better version of me is capable of doing that then is it really better because I don’t think I would do that? I’m tired because the plumber keeps turning up at the crack of dawn (9AM) and there’s a massive hole in the wall. He’s really nice though. His name is Gary except it’s not Gary because I wouldn’t ever use his real name even though it doesn’t matter because I’m saying something nice and nobody would know who he is anyway just from a first name :)
- What if I can read your mind but only when you think about pigeons? If you think about wearing jeggings I won’t know but if you think about pigeons I’ll know about it ;)
- What if in a previous life I was an endlessly impressive pharoah’s sighthound and he used to give me treats and stroke my ears and tell me I was his best friend and that’s why in this life I idolise my best friends?
- What if everyone on Earth has the exact same thought at least once a day but nobody realises because it’s a really weird/embarrassing thought so we all just bury it deep down and pretend it never happened but if we just stopped protecting ourselves for two seconds we’d realise that we’re all experiencing exactly the same thing and it’s fine and we should all just cry-hug until the planet starts glowing magically like my roses lamp (except maybe not right now because of global issues, et cetera).
- If the plumber wakes you up every morning your brain changes permanently and you make mistakes throughout the day (typos and so on [he’s really nice though and if someone is going to smash holes in the walls I want it to be him]).
Top 5 Emotions Today
- annoyance (plumber)
- gratitude (thanks :))
Top 5 Things That Are a Good Sign
- finally set up the green screen
- got better filming lights
- opened some files
- the neighbour’s cat keeps visiting and it’s a Burmese
- other stuff but I forget because I’m tired from the plumber plumbing so hard all the time at 9AM (he’s nice though :))
Top 5 Words Today
Top 5 Horse Names Tonight
- Big Milk
- Doctor Clop
UPDATED MARCH 13 2021
Top 5 Adverbs
Top 5 Fruits That Seem Like Vegetables
- CAPSICUM >:(
- eggplant :)
Top 5 Refreshing Vegetables (Raw)
- snow peas
- massive hunks of iceberg lettuce
Top 5 Words for Cucumbers
Top 5 Quick+Easy Fun Ways to Surprise Someone!
- put a $2 coin in their blue sock ;)
- leave a plastic whale under their pillow at night
- do the opposite of the thing they told you to do (SURPRISE!)
- draw them a picture of their favourite animal (e.g. shark, brown horse) and attach it in an email without any explanation
- just turn up with snacks (e.g. spicy almonds)
Top 5 Fun and Unique Activities to Do For Fun!
- bask in coloured lights (blue, red, purple, et cetera) with underwater music
- send animal links (but of WEIRD animals)
- watch other people talk about movies you’re too scared to watch
- let the neighbour’s cat walk around your home (sniffing) and compliment the cat
- make furniture out of cardboard boxes + other trash
Top 5 Original Sonic Level Songs Regression Playlist
You can actually tell everything you need to know about a person (and predict their behaviour 100%) based on their original Sonic level music preferences (all original Sonics included).
What some people don’t know (even The Sonic Kid) is that Sonic isn’t really for playing. It’s just for jumping around and spending 30+ mins on each level listening to sick trax.
- Aquatic Ruin
- Labyrinth Zone
- Mystic Cave Zone (for your dark side [HOW DARE Supersonic interrupt the song tho. I don’t care how sick his hair looks])
- Emerald Hill Zone (for those blue-sky days where anything’s possible and you have the whole game head of you)
- Marble Zone :’( (life without pain has no meaning?)
- Star Light Zone :’) (what a journey we’re on)
- Oooh yeah, Casino Night (buy you a drink, sugar? [EFF OFF SUPERSONIC I’M LISTENING YOU PRESUMPTUOUS PRICK!])
- The Sonic Movie was a masterpiece 10/10
I may do a Sonic 3 and Knuckles playthrough but it’ll be SO boring because I won’t do anything and just hang out.
Tails is pretending to get tired so that he doesn’t have to fly Sonic around and MUCH, MUCH MORE!
Why it should be Tails the Hedgehog and MUCH, MUCH MORE!
Top 5 Facts Most People Don’t Know About Sonic The H-Hog
- Sonic has a PhD (IN BEING SPIKY, HAHA)
- Doctor Robotnik isn’t a real doctor (ironically Sonic IS technically a doctor due to having a PhD)
- Tails 100% knows he’s cute
- The original composer (WHOOOOM I have feelings for) was a bass player and that’s why many of the basslines punch you in the face in a good way).
- When I was eight I drew pictures of Sonic and Tails marrying their girlfriends that I made up (although Sonic’s girlfriend was a pink hedgehog which is like his actual girlfriend Amy but it wasn’t her because Amy is laaaaaame. The only other character who isn’t laaaaaame is Knuckles). Each of the married couples stood in an intricate flower archway and received a pet cat (e.g. an ideal wedding). My parents laminated it and it’s a placemat now, which you can eat off at any time. Thanks for always supporting my artistic vision.
- Knuckles has 1000% been to prison (twice) but he’s working on himself.
Top 5 Things That Give Mixed Feelings
- Turning into Supersonic. He’s so cool and it gives you a sense of accomplishment because it’s a reminder that you collected all the chaos emeralds (pretty much impossible) but it interrupts the song and that’s never good.
- Almonds that are too spicy but the flavour is really good.
- Getting invincibility. Once again, it interrupts the music and that’s not on. I’d rather get hurt and die, thanks.
- New pants. Excited about my new pants but I also don’t want to wear them because they’re new and today isn’t special enough.
- Googling pictures of Leonardo DiCaprio because your friend said in this one fleeting moment when you looked up from your phone you reminded her of a picture of young Leonardo DiCaprio she used to love and now you want to know what that looked like and if it’s worth replicating and you’re flattered but also weirded out because you think you look nothing like Leonardo DiCaprio and is that even a compliment but she seemed to think so?
I really hope it’s this one though (swan).
Top 5 Questions For Whoever Reads This
- Should I put comments on this site or no? Disqus puts ads on everything now unless you pay. I could pay or I could use something else (you don’t have to actually answer—I’ll just imagine your answer and then do whatever I think you might have said).
- Should I play the rest of Tails the Hedgehog or no (no need to actually answer unless it’s urgent)?
- Should I upload this sci-fi/fantasy thing I’m writing (not the gay one but a different one, although I can’t promise there won’t be ANYTHING gay in it because that’s just how things sometimes accidentally turn out for no reason) online chapter-by-chapter to break the pattern of letting things that I previously prioritised to a terrifying degree rot forever in a folder unseen by anyone (and forgotten by me), or is that pointless and boring and useless (don’t answer, thanks!)?
- Is there something quick+easy you could do right now to make yourself a bit happier?
- Do you know I appreciate ya (NO ANSWERING, THANKS)?
Top 5 BAD THOUGHTS!!!
- If my hand goes too close to the frying pan I’ll cook my hand.
- What if I cook my hand?
- My hand feels hot. Is it getting cooked?
- Do other people worry about cooking their hands when doing a chicken stir-fry?
- Is my hand like chicken?
- My hand feels a bit cooked and now I have to act normal.
- My eye feels weird. Did the steam cook my eye when I “deglazed” the pan like a Frenchman?
- Can you steam your own eye while it’s in your head?
- Am I going blind from having a partially cooked eye?
- WHY IS COOKING SO DANGEROUS?
Top 5 Days of the Week
- Saturday :)
- Friday :)
- Sunday :I
- Thursday :)
- Wednesday :I
Top 5 Concepts
- I don’t exist
- chocolate-coated almonds/peanuts/anything
Top 5 Names that Might Have Been the Neighbour’s Name But I Don’t Know For Sure
Top 5 Things I Hope You Have Today
- a great day
- enough hydration
- positive feelings about everything
- a great time
- heartfelt pigeon interaction
- PIGEON RUSH!
- fun watching my high quality TAILS the Hedgehog let’s plays
Top 5 Times to Make Lunch + Cook My Hand
- an hour ago
- two hours ago
- dinner time
- choc-coated almonds
CREATED FEBRUARY 17 2021
Top 5 Most Important Words 2021
Top 5 Most Boring Words of ALL TIME
Top 5 Least Boring Words of ALL TIME
- PIGEONS :)
- Italian Greyhound
Top 5 Things I Love
- THE FAT BROWN DOG THAT I KEEP SEEING AROUND
- being by myself for ages
Top 5 Horse Colours
- Clydesdale (horse TYPE)
Top 5 Pigeons I Know
- Font-Weight <3 <3 <3
- Fight Pigeon
Top 5 Creative + Romantic Date Ideas for Valentine’s Day 2022!!!
- dinner in the shower
- role-play where one of you is a policeman and the other one is a plain-clothes policeman/person who is speeding and then it’s really awkward when you get pulled over for speeding and have to explain that it’s actually fine because you’re also in the police but just not wearing a uniform. And then the policeman in uniform is like, “But you were speeding.” And then you’re like, “Yeah, but I’m allowed to speed because I’m in the police force.” And the uniformed policeman is like, “I’m a policeman and I don’t speed.” And then you’re like, “Yeah, but you could speed and get away with it if you wanted to because you ARE the law.” And then the uniformed policeman is like, “I became a policeman to help people and make the world a better place, not do whatever I like or have some kind of power trip! You are a criminal and need to be arrested ASAP!” And then you’re like, “Do you want to get coffee and doughnuts at my favourite coffee and doughnut police place?” And he’s like, “NO! I WANT TO PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE, YOU FILTHY CRIMINAL! YOU ARE SO BAD IN EVERY WAY! YOU MAKE ME SICK! YOU WILL BE SO SORRY FOR SPEEDING WHEN I’M DONE WITH YOU, YOU POWER-TRIPPING MANIAC!” And then he handcuffs you for speeding and then you just go from there or whatever.
- watch a Hugh Grant movie (blindfolded)
- dress up in each other’s clothes and take photos and make a scrapbook out of it
- have a great time doing whatever you want with or without whoever you want (zero hassle)
- enchanted forest hide and seek
Top 5 Words that Aren’t Names But Would Make Cool Names if You Had Four Sons
Top 5 Places in Australia that Would Make Cool Names For a Fantasy Book Character But I Maybe Don’t Want to Use an Australian Place Name as a Name For a Fantasy Book Character Unless Maybe I Changed it a Bit (No Particular Order)
- Sandy Creek
Top 5 Compliments to Make Someone Smile!
- I like your dress!
- I like your bejewelled jeggings
- I like you and your interests
- the things you say are hilarious!
- you are the best person who has ever lived
Top 5 Animals
- (Italian) Greyhound
Top 5 Questions to Ask Your Date/Friend/Mum (Depending)
- Which dog are you? (TAKE THE QUIZ!)
- Have you seen the movie Edward Scissorhands?
- Are you judgemental about if I want to play with a plastic whale toy in the bath like when I was five?
- Have you ever punched yourself repeatedly in the head?
- Do you love to have fun and a good time?
Top 5 Mark Screenshots
Top 5 Things That Aren’t Ideal
- getting stabbed in the face (hard)
- someone tapping you on the back before the German exam starts and telling you that your shirt is on inside out
- forgetting the German word for “butterfly” so you just write something that sounds kind of right but definitely isn’t
- wireless headphones out of charge
- no dogs
Top 5 Things that are the OPPOSITE of Not Ideal
- getting hugged by a giant pigeon
- finding $50 in old birthday card
- getting shrunk down to be tiny and sleeping on a pigeon’s back
- talking to someone and they like the same thing you do!
- KitKat Gold
Top 5 Facial Expressions
- smile (genuine)
- key face (furrowed brow while trying to get a key inside a keyhole)
- focused genius
- poker face
Top 5 Things I’m Looking Forward To
- whale toy
- space pants
- having zero thorns
- being normal soz
Top 5 Things You Can Google NOW!
- what dog am I quiz (I got Labrador ON TWO DIFFERENT TESTS but I wanted (Italian) Greyhound! WHAT? I feel like a Labrador would be an extrovert but I’ve never owned a Labrador so maybe that’s just G-Retrievers. I would rather be a g-hound because they are my favourite dog.
- deep sea creatures 10 hours
- Sebastian the crab/Edward Scissorhands MBTI
- what does it mean when someone really loves sharks
Top 5 Memes
Top 5 Number of Tabs to Have Open
- 42 in one window and 7 in an incognito window
- 45 in one window and 22 in incognito window
- 33 in one window and 2 in incognito window
- 53 in one window (after closing a bunch)
- 78 in one window
Top 5 Things to Say While Rewatching Edward Scissorhands The Other Day
- Awwww he’s cute!
- Aw no!
Top 5 100% Understandable Childhood Loves Belated Valentine’s Day Celebration List (Ages 4-15 [In Order of Overall Life Impact])
1. Dave Lister
The video explains all but also:
Top 5 Reasons Dave Lister is in This Top 5 List (Top 5 Top 5 Sublist)
- super laid-back (easy to hang with)
- cares about everyone
- gets dressed the same way as me (hurried energetic chaos)
- ZERO chance he’ll be mad if I’m not tidy (which I won’t be)
- last man alive
- not on the pull
2. Edward Scissorhands
I just watched ESH not that long ago and maybe I’m feeling slightly more intense about it than I would have otherwise, but if I had a choice between being given a million dollars FOR FREE and hugging Edward Scissorhands for one hour, I would choose to hug Edward Scissorhands for one hour. I wish I was joking because I could really do with a million dollars.
If I hugged ESH, I think it would feel really nice for a start because he looks really huggy in the gifs.
But on top of that I think that our souls would fuse together temporarily (not sure if he has a soul since he’s man-made but then neither do I probably, so that’s fine) and I would take some of his suffering and he would take some of my suffering and even though we’ll have the same amount of suffering afterwards it will be different because it’s easier to step back and view someone else’s suffering objectively but your own suffering feels like your feelings are bleeding to death and you’re going to die.
And then after the hug he will be a bit happier and I’ll be a bit happier and he can give me a haircut because I’m tired of snipping my own hair even though it looks SICK and when I went out that one time C1 said I look SO HOT with short hair and C2 agreed and I’m pretty pleased about that because when you zip off your own hair angrily with a safety razor it does raise some doubts in your mind about whether or not it’s actually a great haircut.
But my favourite part of the movie is when ESH asks Kevin if he wants to play “scissors paper stone” and Kevin says no and ESH asks, “Why?”
I love him.
And just in the long-term (assuming this experience leads to some kind of lifelong transcendental therapeutic hug arrangement), what he lacks in inability to not absentmindedly stab me in the eye with scissors he will make up for in being uncommonly soft and lovely in every other way (except when he has the occasional explosive yet silent rage attack and rips all the curtains but that’s totally fine and understandable. I hate curtains anyway).
Labyrinth is a strange one because I love it but I also don’t love it at the same time. Like, I love it but do I? Like, I DO.
But do I?
That’s the only way I can explain it.
I do though.
If it wasn’t enough that the Gob King is played by D-Bow—who I already loved when I watched the movie—he’s just a ton of fun with his exciting labyrinth and crystal ball thingies and traps and puzzles and smug facial expressions and messing with time and THE FACT THAT HE CAN TURN INTO AN OWL?
This man can TURN INTO AN OWL and yet half of his admirers are going on about how tight his pants are? He could be wearing a pair of daggy mum jeans and I’d be equally thrilled.
HE CAN TURN INTO AN OWL.
If I was on a date with the Gobbo King and he suddenly turned into an owl I would scream and then I would be so happy. And then he’d turn back into a man and I’d say, “Can you turn back into an owl?” And he’d be like, “But I want to eat my pasta.” And I would say, “Can you turn back into an owl after you eat your pasta?” And he’d say, “Don’t you want me to be a man?” And I’d say, “Yes, but I also want you to be an owl more because owls are so cool and cute. Thanks!”
It’s possible he should be above ESH but I just saw ESH and so he’s fresh in my mind and so cute. And maybe I’d like JTGK even more if he was a bit more flexible about this whole labyrinth thing. Maybe if he was just like, “I have this cool labyrinth and you can explore it if you want but no pressure or anything. I’ll turn into an owl anytime you want and give your brother back regardless.”
That might be ideal because really I need heaps of time to make vids and sick tracks and can’t do labyrinths et cetera all the time!
4. Sebastian the Crab
While STC was one of my first loves—if not THE first—he isn’t higher up the list because there’s only so long you can think that an animated Jamaican crab is your soulmate (the Jamaican part is fine but not the animated crab bit). I will rewatch The Little Mermaid soon though so that I can fully remind myself of what it was exactly that made me think STC was such a catch (I’m sure the magic will still be there). I may have misinterpreted his overbearing obsession with making sure Ariel never steps (or swims, hah!) out of line as him caring a lot about her. But he also does care a lot about her so I’ve confused myself now.
Or maybe I totally LOVED the “Under the Sea” song :):):)
HAKUNA MATATA NO SHAME.
Top 5 Possible Dog Names
- Spargel (better for horse)
Top 5 Types of Black Tea (Bags)
- Australian Afternoon
- English Breakfast
Top 5 Possible Bath Games
- whale adventure
- bath bomb bonanza
- listen to music and cry
- whale story (would require concentration)
- make the water too hot but sit in it anyway and regret it the whole time but also do nothing about it except think about how it has to cool down soon because that’s just thermodynamics?
Top 5 Things to Know Nothing About
Top 5 Emotions Today So Far
- annoyance (loud noise)
Top 5 Times That I Might Start Being 100% Normal
- this week hopefully
- this weekend maybe
- the weekend after that