# I Went to a Triangle Called Tasmania and There Were Possums and Wallabies

I went to a place called Tasmania, which is a triangle at the bottom of the big place called Australia. Sometimes in Australia a man says to a lady, “Show us ya map of Tasmania.” But I don’t have a map of Tasmania! Why would I carry that around with me, especially when I live on the mainland? I could look up a map of Tasmania on my phone but that’s the best I can do.

The important thing about Tasmania is that there are fat possums and nice wallies. I like to call a wallaby “wally” so that I can then say, “Where’s wally?” Haha! I saw possums and wallies every night during my time in Tasmania and sometimes during the day. The wallies tended to come out just before dusk, and the possums arrived a bit later, when it was almost dark. Sometimes they saw each other and if that happened, the possum would make a scary noise and the wally would hop away. It seems the possums are in charge of the Tasmania Triangle!

One of the best friends I made in Tasmania was a friendly wallaboy, who ate one carrot and one nectarine. He crunched and munched until the sun went down, and I told him that I wanted to hug him up real bad.

He must have liked me too because at one point I saw him watching me while I was changing into my pajimjams. That weirdo wally!

I thought maybe this wallaboy likes me a bit too much, but then I saw him kissing another wallaby, which is all right with me. I’m not really a jealous type and also he’s a wallaby.

One of the possums I saw was big and fat and furry. I was so pleased because he looked a bit like the fat possum in the picture I mentioned in my last post (great as a TILED desktop background).

One of my favourite things about this fat possum was that there was lots of brown in his fur. Usually when I see a possum his fur is grey, but this was a Chocolate Possum—a real treat! But just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, Fat Chocolate Possum’s girlfriend arrived with their baby poss.

A whole possum family! Naturally this was the best thing that had ever happened. I loved all the possums and I thought this big fat brown possum was a loyal family man and just an all-round good possum. But then in the night he spooked me right out when he started climbing up the door and scratching around the place. The sound was so loud, I started to think he wanted to break inside and eat me. I’m not a juicy nectarine, you fat possum!

Just look at that naughty poss!

I wanted to stay in the Tasmanian forest with the wallies and the possums forever, but I had to come back and talk to a person about things, which is always scary because what if I say a thing and then her microexpressions tell me to jump off a building? If an authority figure tells me to jump off a building, then I probably will. The best thing about fat possums and wallabies is that they don’t have microexpressions, and they usually aren’t authority figures.

After the CPHIA (Chocolate Possum Home Invasion Attempt), I lay awake listening to the wind and rain for three or four hours. I wondered what would happen if I took all my clothes off and ran deep into the wet, windy wilderness. Maybe my feet would get all cut up or maybe I’d get lost forever or maybe a family of Tasmanian Devils would eat me up and then I’d be gone. Are any/all of those things something that should happen to me?

Then instead of thinking about that, I decided to think:

Chocolate Possum, where’s Wally?

Chocolate Possum, where’s Wally?

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You can try it too!

Obviously Tasmania is the best triangle in the world because there are so many wallies and possums, and I can’t make as many furry forest friends in Melbourne. I like it so much that I might even decide to carry around a map of Tasmania so I can look at it whenever I want and also show random men who ask to see it. My one criticism of Tasmania is that I didn’t see hardly any pigeons. If the pigeon density of Tasmania increases, I think it would be a perfect triangle.